Sunday, August 19, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Sam can roll over!
Two days ago Sam rolled over onto his tummy for the first time. He always rolled around and can even turn himself opposite of the way I laid him down but now he can roll to his tummy too. He doesn't quite know what to do when he gets there but I'm sure he'll figure that out too.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Be a More Positive Parent -Gail Reichlin
Alice, mother of three spirited boys under the age of 7, had made a recent promise to herself to change her discipline technique. "No more yelling, nagging, bribing, or threatening." But on Friday morning, feeling frazzled and with her kids running late for school, she reverted back to "automatic parenting pilot." She reeled off a rapid-fire list of demands: "Hurry up, you'll miss the bus!" she called out. "Eat your breakfast! Keep your hands off your brother!"
Alice is not alone. As we try to manage our kid battles, we sometimes snap and fall into old habits. But you can be assured that no matter how challenging the situation is in your home, you can begin using a strategy called positive discipline that will help you get the cooperation you're after without losing your temper or your sanity. A Better Way Positive discipline, based on love and limits, is common sense. It's often the simple, sensible choices we tend to overlook as options, especially when we're in the heat of a kid battle. Unlike punishment, positive discipline works to maintain the dignity of both child and parent by helping the child want to cooperate because he knows it's the right thing to do, not because he feels he has to comply "or else." It has three main objectives:
• To put a stop to misbehavior (such as whining, lying, hitting, tantrums).
• To encourage good behaviors (i.e., cleaning up, healthy eating, using manners).
• To strengthen the relationship between parent and child.
The starting place for positive discipline is with you. It involves modeling good behavior - the kind you'd like from your child. As you have already discovered, children will do as you do, not necessarily as you say. To review the kind of behavior you expect, schedule private discussions and family meetings to revisit a situation without blame, shame, fear, or guilt. When the child has input into solving the problem, he is more inclined to want to cooperate as planned when a similar situation arises. The process helps him feel important. But keep in mind that you have full veto power. Over time, a well-disciplined child learns to control his impulses, take responsibility, solve problems, and empathize with others.
In truth, changing your ways and your children's isn't easy, and it can be especially difficult to hold it together on crazy mornings like Alice had. But even if you find that what comes out of your mouth is not what you had practiced, don't worry. Your child will give you another chance - sooner than you think - to say it better.
8 Great Ways to Get Your Kids to Cooperate
• Acknowledge strong feelings. A child who feels understood sees you as on his side rather than on his back and is more likely to cooperate. Say, "I noticed how angry you get when you're having fun and have to leave your friend's house. Let's practice a happy goodbye for tomorrow. How would that look and sound?"
• Talk less. Say what needs to be done in a single word if you can. "Coat." "Breakfast." "Teeth." Children hate long explanations, which often turn into a screaming tirade of reasons it must be done. You're also modeling self-control.
• Tell your child what he can do, rather than what he cannot do. For example, "We pet the cat" works better than, "Don't pull the cat's tail like you did last week." This serves as a reminder of an acceptable action rather than of what your child did wrong.
• Give limited choices. Say to your child, "You can get in your car seat all by yourself or Mommy will help you do it. Do you need my help? It's your choice." Most toddlers will say, "Self, self . . . I do it." The more you do this, the more you'll get "self" cooperation.
• Lighten up. Make inanimate objects do the talking for you. If you want your child to put on his shoes, for instance, make the shoes say, "Please put your feet in my tummy." Toddlers will usually happily comply, at least once.
• Rewind! This announcement means that your child will "take back" her words and actions and start anew with good behavior. Silly babble and walking backwards indicate the bad behavior has been "erased." In order for this to be effective, it must be introduced, demonstrated, and talked about repeatedly, outside the heat of the moment.
• Take a break. To calm a frustrated child, stop and breathe together. Say, "Looks like you need a break; let's breathe together." Sitting across from each other, holding hands, inhale slowly and deeply three times. Say, "I'm feeling relaxed now."
• Take a silly break. A sense of humor is very positive and often works well to stop misbehavior. When things are out of control, consider declaring, "We need to get silly!" Dance, sing the "silly song," tell a joke, talk in a silly voice or a foreign language. The children will join right in - or at least stop misbehaving long enough to watch the show!
From Parent & Child magazine
Alice is not alone. As we try to manage our kid battles, we sometimes snap and fall into old habits. But you can be assured that no matter how challenging the situation is in your home, you can begin using a strategy called positive discipline that will help you get the cooperation you're after without losing your temper or your sanity. A Better Way Positive discipline, based on love and limits, is common sense. It's often the simple, sensible choices we tend to overlook as options, especially when we're in the heat of a kid battle. Unlike punishment, positive discipline works to maintain the dignity of both child and parent by helping the child want to cooperate because he knows it's the right thing to do, not because he feels he has to comply "or else." It has three main objectives:
• To put a stop to misbehavior (such as whining, lying, hitting, tantrums).
• To encourage good behaviors (i.e., cleaning up, healthy eating, using manners).
• To strengthen the relationship between parent and child.
The starting place for positive discipline is with you. It involves modeling good behavior - the kind you'd like from your child. As you have already discovered, children will do as you do, not necessarily as you say. To review the kind of behavior you expect, schedule private discussions and family meetings to revisit a situation without blame, shame, fear, or guilt. When the child has input into solving the problem, he is more inclined to want to cooperate as planned when a similar situation arises. The process helps him feel important. But keep in mind that you have full veto power. Over time, a well-disciplined child learns to control his impulses, take responsibility, solve problems, and empathize with others.
In truth, changing your ways and your children's isn't easy, and it can be especially difficult to hold it together on crazy mornings like Alice had. But even if you find that what comes out of your mouth is not what you had practiced, don't worry. Your child will give you another chance - sooner than you think - to say it better.
8 Great Ways to Get Your Kids to Cooperate
• Acknowledge strong feelings. A child who feels understood sees you as on his side rather than on his back and is more likely to cooperate. Say, "I noticed how angry you get when you're having fun and have to leave your friend's house. Let's practice a happy goodbye for tomorrow. How would that look and sound?"
• Talk less. Say what needs to be done in a single word if you can. "Coat." "Breakfast." "Teeth." Children hate long explanations, which often turn into a screaming tirade of reasons it must be done. You're also modeling self-control.
• Tell your child what he can do, rather than what he cannot do. For example, "We pet the cat" works better than, "Don't pull the cat's tail like you did last week." This serves as a reminder of an acceptable action rather than of what your child did wrong.
• Give limited choices. Say to your child, "You can get in your car seat all by yourself or Mommy will help you do it. Do you need my help? It's your choice." Most toddlers will say, "Self, self . . . I do it." The more you do this, the more you'll get "self" cooperation.
• Lighten up. Make inanimate objects do the talking for you. If you want your child to put on his shoes, for instance, make the shoes say, "Please put your feet in my tummy." Toddlers will usually happily comply, at least once.
• Rewind! This announcement means that your child will "take back" her words and actions and start anew with good behavior. Silly babble and walking backwards indicate the bad behavior has been "erased." In order for this to be effective, it must be introduced, demonstrated, and talked about repeatedly, outside the heat of the moment.
• Take a break. To calm a frustrated child, stop and breathe together. Say, "Looks like you need a break; let's breathe together." Sitting across from each other, holding hands, inhale slowly and deeply three times. Say, "I'm feeling relaxed now."
• Take a silly break. A sense of humor is very positive and often works well to stop misbehavior. When things are out of control, consider declaring, "We need to get silly!" Dance, sing the "silly song," tell a joke, talk in a silly voice or a foreign language. The children will join right in - or at least stop misbehaving long enough to watch the show!
From Parent & Child magazine
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Summer Fun
So far the summer is half over and we have had some fun! Maddie loves to play with her friends right up until bedtime. She FINALLY turned six. She has been waiting for her birthday ever since last year. She got lots of fun toys including the slip'n'slide Ryan got her and a sprinkler to run through. Every Thursday they go to Grandma Dablings (black grandma) house to play. There they always have a full day of fun like swimming, feeding the horses, movies, and the playhouse muesum. And of course, we had a very fun fourth of July. Jack is quite the character. He loves to rough house and he loves to play with Maddie and her friends. Its funny, but when he gets around boys he's not sure what to do. We did find a friend for him too though, Riley's friend Derek has a boy about Jacks age and they play good together. So we have someone to have a playdate with, Yea! Sam is just a fun little soul. He is really a big smiler, we are waiting for the first giggle, he is so close. (Maddie can't wait either so that a new fairy will be born) So far, me, Sam and Maddie went to Lake Powell with the Porters and Riley and Jack went to the cabin. We split up just because Riley couldn't get off work and we were worried about Jack on the houseboat. But this weekend we are going to the cabin together so that will be fun.Here are some pictures of our fun summer days.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Happy Birthday Madison!
Today is Madions Birthday. We celebrated with family tonight with the Poters, Dablings, and Grandma Beers. Tonight we had dutch oven potatoes, beans, and chicken, and salad, fruit, and pie and cake for dessert. Maddie then opened her presents and she got a lot of great stuff, thanks you guys! She loved the slip n' slide uncle Ryan and new aunt Emilee gave her, so much so that they set it up and started sliding on it in their clothes (they meaning, Riley, Ryan, Jack and Madison) great gift Ryan and you can come over and play with it whenever you want to. She loved all the clothes she got from Grandma Dabling, Great Grandma Beers and Grandma Porter. She got some cool sticker books from Chad and Melissa, some workbooks from Grandma and Grandpa Porter. She loves her Sleeping Beauty barbie and horse from Mimi, Timmy, and Channdra. She got fairies and pet shop animals and a my little pony. Wow what a great birthday finished with a homemade cake that was supposed to look like a round of Swiss cheese. (Due to the ratatouille movie theme that we will see tomorrow with her friends. ) All in all it was a great day. Thank you Heavenly Father for all of our blessings!
Happy Birthday Madison! I love you.
Happy Birthday Madison! I love you.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
